I imagine that as a parent, it’s with a heavy heart that you worry for your child’s wellbeing, it’s with angst that you wonder if they feel as though they belong and it’s with curiosity that you navigate the adolescent experience by their side.
More often than I would like, I speak with parents who – for too long – assumed that their child didn’t struggle with poor mental health. The reason being usually related to how their teenager looked or was perceived to be feeling – ultimately, an assumption. A risky one at that.
Mental ill-health is often an invisible illness and can affect anybody – the waterboy and the captain of the first XV, the girl in student support and the Head Girl, the one who hates social media and the TikTok influencer, the quiet achiever and the school Dux.
The fact of the matter is that over 60% of young people in Australia are struggling with a mental illness. That is 18 students in a class of 30, more than half of every sport team and 60% of our future leaders.
Mental health can be tough to talk about. But the conversation isn’t nearly as dangerous as what we are creating with silence. Here are are some ways to check in with your teenager:
What to ask:
- How is everything going at school?
- How are you finding the balance between homework and seeing your friends?
- How are you feeling about _____ ?
- If you ever want to talk about ______ just let me know.
- What’s news with you?
- Have you heard of _______ (mental health organisation)?
How to ask:
- Pick the right place – somewhere quiet and away from other people
- Ask how they are going in whatever way feels most natural
- Listen with an open mind
- Offer support and encourage action
- Continue to check in with them after the conversation
When to ask:
- If you notice changes in their behaviour, involvement or mood
- During a time, which you know is hard or challenging
- If they have become distant
- If they have opened up about things happening in their life
- As often as you can
- Before it’s too late
Where to ask:
- On a walk or doing an activity you usually do together
- Over the phone or via text if you’re not physically together
- Wherever you can
Why ask:
In 2021, Womn-Kind surveyed 300 young people from across Australia to find that 76% of respondents said that they felt lonely and 78% said that they didn’t feel like themselves lately.
That’s almost 4 in 5 young people.
I ask you not to assume that the young people in your life aren’t suffering but instead, that to some degree, they are.
We also asked the 300 young people what they needed right now, of which they could choose more than one thing.
64% said love, 57% said a sense of belonging, 70% said courage, 65% said company, 59% said self belief, 81% said strength and 62% said a hug.
Mental health doesn’t need to be complicated but it does need to be a topic of conversation. Don’t wait until it’s too late.
Ruby Riethmuller is the Founder & Director of Womn-Kind
For more resources related to wellbeing and mental health, you can also visit @womnkind on Instagram.